Didn’t Know What I Didn’t Know

I’ve looked under every rock

I’ve looked around every corner

What exactly have I been looking for?

I can’t say for sure

Thought I’d find myself

Didn’t know I was already here

Thought I’d find more evidence

Didn’t know the sky never ends

How does a search for something that isn’t there begin?

Where does a search for something that isn’t there then end?

What next do I expect to find now that I’ve found him?

I’ve found that he was never there, but is always here within

I’ve read between the lines

I’ve journeyed alone in the dark of night

What exactly have I been searching for?

I can’t say for sure

Thought I’d find answers

Didn’t know the right questions

Thought I’d find justification

Didn’t know there's no final destination

Now with all I’ve longed for

And all I’ve seen behind closed doors

There’s only one thing on my mind, one thing’s for sure

I needn’t search anymore

There’s nothing out there you and I aren’t already prepared for

Hear Me, Listen to Me

Hear me, listen to me

This heart of mine speaks

It is saying something to each and every being

Spreading the word of faith in yourself and the truth that is loving

Hear me, listen to me

I come to you in peace

Here to share the word that is before each and every being

Sharing what it means to be alive and dead with perfect timing

Hear me, listen to me

You see what I am

Can I please see who or what you are hiding behind me?

Looking for the one they speak of, the one inside of everything

Hear me, listen to me

I was lost, and now I am still lost

Lost in the middle of nowhere, so how can I ever be found?

Hiding in the darkness, hoping for what’s before and beyond time

Listening to be heard while waiting for what’s mine

Snooze

Time to get up; it is almost one o’clock

You’ve slept the entire morning away, almost the entire day

No need to get up now, half the sunlight is gone

Might as well continue to sleep, not like you have any real contributions

I cannot feel anything anymore, so what’s the point

I lay here trying to find the motivation to bring myself to stand upright

I look to the left, up, down, deep inside, and all around me

No inspiration to be found, there is no more of me here, I’m alone and tired

I will not fight what I cannot understand, I will go back to sleep and continue dreaming

Spending all this time alone, wrapping myself in judgment and denials

Judging myself, and in return putting everyone else on trial

The honorable me presiding, me versus the world

Who will win this trial is anyone’s guess

It’s up to the jury, a jury of me and my peers

I should go outside, play with the animals, and probably make some new friends

That seems like running away though, running from the peace I’ve found within

The silence that lets me know there is nowhere I must go

Nowhere but here, to the same place that no matter where I run, I have always been

It's Not You, It's Me

What do I know now

Whenever

What did you tell me

How many times do I ask you

I feel like I don’t even know how I have ended up here

I look around

I was the one that cheated and lied

How come I am hurting inside?

You were so good to me

Even to this day I can’t really believe

I look for motivation in whatever I remember was hurtful

How can I grow from all that negativity?

At the core of all my sorrow is you

I put you in those ill fitting shoes

It was never your intention to hurt me

It may have taken me all this time to see

The pain I have inside was already well developed before our love was conceived

I spin, I spin, looking around trying to find my balance

Standing too close to the edge, afraid I may fall off this bridge

Hold me, I’m calling out for someone to hold me

Show me the way, a path to where I can be free

Free with you, freedom within our love, together forever we are, you me and the other

Calling You Out

Who I thought you were

Was definitely not who I have come to know

My bad, I was looking at your potential

Instead of seeing your delusions and denials

At this point, I can’t even look you in the eye

It burns so much when I see your lies

I don’t even hear them most times

Its like I’m deaf to you, deaf to your ultimate surprise

I was a fool

I had no idea my lover was still in high school

Playing games with himself; trying to be cool

Cool you’re not my friend

I’m sad, but hopeful now that I can clearly see the end

The end of us

No more time, no more energy, no fuss

I already admitted it was me, so no more accusations

Only time will tell how long I hold on to this frustration